


Magic Fingers

by ThisIsLitaE



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Barisi - Freeform, Cancer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Hair Stylist Sonny Carisi, Haircuts, Head Shaving, M/M, Men Crying, Sick Rafael Barba, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27542050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsLitaE/pseuds/ThisIsLitaE
Summary: Cancer stricken Rafael Barba begins to lose his hair. He goes to his friend’s salon for help. But when Olivia isn’t available, Rafael ends up confiding in handsome hairdresser, Sonny Carisi.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47
Collections: Barisi Professions Bingo





	Magic Fingers

Upon starting chemotherapy, ADA Rafael Barba had tried to mentally prepare for the side effects. He knew at some point his hair was going to start falling out. Though he hadn’t expected for it to happen while writing case notes in his office. One second of running a hand through his hair and a bunch of strands were dropped onto his legal pad.

Rafael stared at the dark brown clump in disbelief. He ran his other hand through his hair, a desperate and futile attempt to prove it wasn’t real. Tears welled up in his eyes as another group of strands ended up between his fingers. He shook his hand vigorously, allowing the hair to fall onto the carpet at his feet.

In order to keep it together, Rafael swallowed his emotions and approached the situation with logic. One of his best friends, Olivia Benson, owned a hair salon. She had been adamant that he come to her for any personal or professional support throughout his illness. At that moment, Rafael needed both. Checking his watch, he realised that Liv for Hair was about to close up. Though given Olivia’s dedication to her business, it was likely she would still be around.

The ADA packed up his work and began his rush towards the hair salon. Once out on the street, a paranoid insecurity hit him. Rafael was sure people were staring, despite no evidence to suggest it. The cool evening breeze alerted him that he’d left his jacket behind, but there was no turning back. He wished that he’d brought a hat to cover up his hair, lest more fall out in the four blocks to Olivia’s salon. The closer he got, the more desperate Rafael was to be safe behind closed doors.

A sigh of relief escaped him upon reaching Liv for Hair. The salon appeared to be empty, which given the time of day was all too common. Upon entering, Rafael immediately began looking around for Olivia. He called out, deducing that she was probably in her office at the back.

“Hey, Rafael. How are you? Are you looking for the boss?” Sonny Carisi, Liv for Hair’s newest stylist, appeared with a broom in his hand. The tall and lean man greeted Rafael with a smile that amplified the attractiveness of his face. “She stepped out earlier. Something to do with Noah.”

Rafael’s heart sank in disappointment. He mentally berated himself for not calling first. “Okay, no problem. I’ll catch up with her later.”

“Is there something I can help you with?” Sonny put the broom against the wall and walked over to Rafael. “Amanda left me to cleaning duties, but I’ve got time for you.”

Rafael shook his head and took out his phone. “No, I’m just going to call an Uber.”

Sonny gestured to the waiting chairs. As Rafael sat down, he realised that the hairdresser wasn’t resuming cleaning but instead watching him. Sonny came over and took the chair next to Rafael, waiting a beat before voicing what he was thinking.

“Your hair’s beginning to fall out, isn’t it?”

Rafael grimaced in response, continuing to stare at his phone screen rather than Sonny. It wasn’t too surprising that word had spread about his cancer, given that salons were notorious for gossip. Though he didn’t want to talk about it with just anyone, no matter how kind their intentions.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Sonny said with a friendly pat to Rafael’s arm. “But I’m here if you need anything.”

Rafael couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the sentiment everyone seemed to offer cancer patients. Still, coming from Sonny, he felt a twinge of gratitude. “Thank you.”

Sonny stood up and began heading back to his cleaning. Then an idea struck him. “Listen, I know I’m not Liv but if you came to shave your hair, how about I do it? The salon is empty now, so you don’t have to go through it surrounded by strangers. I know Liv would want me to make sure you were taken care of.”

Rafael looked up at Sonny, seeing the sincerity in the pale blue eyes. One thing he had learned about the stylist over the months was that, despite being annoyingly relentless, his heart was always in the right place. Olivia had once likened Sonny to a puppy, too eager to please but you couldn’t help but be charmed. Weighing the options, Rafael figured a half hour with Sonny was preferable than days of pulling hair from his scalp.

“Oh I hate to admit it, but you’re right.” Rafael turned off his phone, not wanting to be disturbed by anyone during the process. “Let’s get this over with, shall we.”

Sonny went over to lock the front door, ensuring they had privacy. Rafael followed the stylist over to his designated station and took a seat. The prosecutor took a good look at his reflection, trying to picture himself bald. Nervous butterflies filled Rafael’s stomach as Sonny secured the protective smock around his neck. The electric clippers lay in wait on Sonny’s trolley.

Rafael turned back to the mirror, watching as Sonny went to work. He felt the fingers carding through his hair, preparing for what was to come. The sensation caused a pleasant tingle to run up his spine, one which he’d never experienced when Liv cut his hair. Sonny’s fingertips began lightly caressing against his head, coaxing an involuntary moan.

“What are you doing?” Rafael asked, feeling a little embarrassed at his reaction. He hoped Sonny didn’t read too much into it.

“Giving you a quick scalp massage. My clients love it,” Sonny explained as he met Rafael’s eyes in the mirror. “I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“No, keep going,” Rafael replied, softly. “It’s really nice.”

The gentle kneading resumed and Rafael shut his eyes in bliss. Sonny applied the perfect amount of pressure to relax him. The magic fingers made Rafael feel warm all over. He didn’t even care when more hums of approval escaped him. Though he was faintly aware of some pulsating down below. The stress of everything melted away and, for the first time since his diagnosis, there was a sense of genuine happiness.

“I’m going to get started now, is that okay?” Sonny asked, his massaging turning back into stroking through Rafael’s hair.

“If I say no, will you keep the massage going for longer?”

Sonny sniffed out a laugh and began to get to work. There was a comfortable silence as Rafael watched the hairdresser in the mirror. A comb was run through his hair, taking some dark brown strands with each pass. The preparation process seemed to be taking longer than usual, yet Rafael didn’t mind. He figured it would be a long time before someone attractive played with his hair again and wanted to savour Sonny’s touch.

The whir of the electric hair clippers caused a hitch in Rafael’s breath. The slight reaction hadn’t gone unnoticed by Sonny, who quickly switched them off again. The stylist placed a hand on the ADA’s shoulder, the gesture providing comfort.

“Do you need a minute?”

Rafael shook his head, smirking in an effort to mask his emotions. “Have to rip off the band aid at some point.”

Rafael watched Sonny turn the clippers back on and raise them to his hairline. There was one last stroke of fingertips before the first pass. Watching his bare scalp reveal itself was a surreal moment for Rafael. The hair he’d kept neatly trimmed and styled was falling over the smock and onto the floor. He concentrated on taking steady breaths as more dark brown strands were mowed away.

Unable to take the silence anymore, the words flowed out of Rafael. “I knew something wasn’t right. But, I guess I wanted to believe it was something that would just go away with time.”

“Those times when you know you should go to the doctor, but seeing the doctor makes it real,” Sonny summarised as he began to shave up from Rafael’s neck. “What type of cancer is it?”

“Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Spread regionally in the lymph nodes around my neck.” Rafael answered with a sigh. “Apparently, I caught it before it spread to other parts of my body. The one upside in this whole mess.”

“Does that mean you’re going to be okay?” Sonny momentarily paused his work, catching Rafael’s eyes in the mirror.

Rafael didn’t want to dash Sonny’s hope but didn’t want to lie either. “Honestly, I won’t be reassured until they confirm I’m in remission.”

Sonny trailed his fingers over a remaining strip of Rafael’s hair. “Well, if you need company during your treatments or a ride somewhere, you give me a call. Or you can tell Liv and she’ll order me to do it.”

Rafael appreciated the gesture but he refused to be a burden. “Don’t feel the need to go out of your way, Sonny.”

“I’m offering because I care about you,” Sonny stated in no uncertain terms. He studied Rafael’s head, focusing on the task at hand.

Rafael was surprised at Sonny’s reaction. He hadn’t meant to cause any offence. Since his diagnosis, even colleagues with whom he rarely interacted were treating him differently. It made it hard to tell the sincere offers from people simply making polite conversation.

“In that case, thank you,” Rafael told the hairdresser. “Both for your offer and for doing this.”

“You’re welcome.” A small smile came to Sonny’s face as he switched off the clippers. “I’m almost done here. I have something that should help with any itching on your scalp. Although I should double check, you don’t have any allergies or products you can’t use?”

Rafael indicated there was no known issues. When Sonny left to get the product, the ADA finally got a chance to really look at himself in the mirror. He turned his head from side to side, confirming that he was completely bald. It wasn’t possible to pretend things were normal anymore. Even strangers would see that Rafael was sick.

“I’ll just put this on your head and we’ll be finished.” Sonny had returned, squirting some cream from a bottle onto his palm. “This is the best product out there, but you let me know if something’s not right, okay.”

Rafael didn’t reply. He continued to stare at his new reflection. Sonny was smoothing the cream over his scalp. He could feel the tender touch against his newly exposed skin. The tears Rafael had held back began to roll down his cheeks. By the time Sonny removed the smock two minutes later, he was openly sobbing.

“Excuse me,” Rafael stammered as he wiped his eyes.

“Come here.” Sonny bent down and slid his arms around Rafael. “I’ve got you.”

A warm buzzing spread throughout Rafael’s body. He stood up and wrapped his arms around Sonny, deepening the embrace. Magic fingers rubbed between his shoulder blades. The ADA buried his face in Sonny’s shoulder as he cried. The smooth skin of the stylist’s neck was pressed against his cheek. As the two men stood, holding each other close, Rafael felt a soft brush of lips over the top of his head. Just when he thought he was imagining things, another kiss was pressed to his skin.

Sonny eased back and looked at Rafael. “I’ve gotta tell you, every time you come in here, I can’t help but admire you.”

Rafael chuckled and a slight flush came to his cheeks. “Because of my big brass ego?”

“I was going to say your confidence but if you want to put it that way.” Sonny reached up and wiped a stray tear off Rafael’s cheek. “Let’s go to the break room. I’ll get you some water.”

Rafael allowed Sonny to lead him towards the back. An arm remained around his shoulders the whole time. The break room was a pleasant space, containing a small lounge area and a kitchenette. Sonny grabbed two glasses from a cabinet and filled them up from the water cooler. Rafael took a seat on the couch. Sonny sat down beside him, offering one of the water glasses.

Rafael took a grateful sip. “Before I forget, how much do I owe you?”

Sonny put a hand up in refusal. “I can’t take your money, Rafael. Consider this a favour.”

“Please. You’re in a Manhattan based salon, you have no problem taking money,” Rafael quipped as he started to reach for his wallet.

Sonny grabbed Rafael’s hand in his own. He brought it to his lips and kissed the knuckles. “How about a compromise? I let you pay me but I use that money to take you out somewhere nice.”

Rafael saw the suggestive look in Sonny’s eyes. A part of him wanted to give in to the moment and snuggle up to the hairdresser. He liked Sonny and it was clear the feeling was mutual. But Rafael believed it was unfair to bring the sweet man into his illness. He regrettably pulled his hand away and took another sip of water. An awkward silence followed, filling the room with tension.

“I better go clean up.” Sonny hopped up from the couch and headed for the door. Before leaving the room, he turned to Rafael. “Look, if I misread the situation and made you uncomfortable, then I’m sorry. But if you feel it, too, then don’t use cancer to push me away. Because I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I first saw you. Whether you live another fifty days or fifty years, I’m prepared to take the chance.”

Rafael watched Sonny leave the room, his heart filled with regret. He thought back to the arms where it was safe to be vulnerable. For the second time since entering the salon, Rafael weighed the options before him. Going through cancer with a person he could possibly love was preferable than facing the fears alone.

Rafael walked out into the main area, finding Sonny sweeping up the hair that was once on his head. A smile formed on his face, getting wider the closer he came to Sonny. With every step, Rafael knew he made the right decision. He grabbed the broom from the hairdresser, halting his cleaning once more.

“If we do this, you have to stay with me even if I lose my eyebrows.”

Sonny cupped Rafael’s cheek, his face lighting up with a grin. “As long as you’re not just dating me for free scalp massages.”

“I’ll admit they are an attractive incentive,” Rafael joked, flirtatiously. “But it’s mostly because you’re amazing.”

Throwing the broom to the floor, Rafael snaked his arms around Sonny’s neck. The two men leaned in until their lips met in a passionate kiss. Rafael moaned as Sonny’s tongue danced with his own. Then a familiar rush of tingles ran up his spine when magic fingers caressed his bald head.

**Author's Note:**

> *Barisi Professions Bingo: HAIRDRESSER  
> *This is the second fic where I've given poor Barba lymphoma  
> *Did this fic give you any feels? Or do I have to dial it up a notch?  
> *Kudos and Comments are appreciated and motivating.


End file.
